Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I think people are normalizing furries
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
