so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
