i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
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So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
dude. I can hear the air.
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