i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
