i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
