Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
