why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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