There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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