thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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