is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Randomize
