But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
