Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
