And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
worst night to have a conscience
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
