At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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