why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
