She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
