im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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