RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
