I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
