brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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