so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
