I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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