We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
dude. I can hear the air.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
