Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
