Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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