On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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