How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
