my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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