Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
