We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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