I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
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