obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I would fuck him just for his dog
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
