you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
