I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
