girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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