I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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