woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He felt like a one man threesome
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
