I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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