Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
