My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
