were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
