My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
