What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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