How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
