Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
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yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
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Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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