it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Randomize
