she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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