she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Never let your siblings swipe right.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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