I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
