apparently the secret to your success is patron
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
