I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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