dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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