tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
