dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
