Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
