pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
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