And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I hope mine doesn't look like that
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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