I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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