ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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