...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
