Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
